Aardvark Alley

Lutheran Aardvark

Confessional Lutheran theology, hagiography, philosophy, music, culture, sports, education, and whatever else is on the fevered mind of Orycteropus Afer

25 April 2017
  + Saint Mark, Evangelist +
25 April, New Testament

Saint Mark The book of Acts mentions a Mark, or John Mark, later called a kinsman of Barnabas (Colossians 4:10). The house of his mother Mary was a meeting place for Christians in Jerusalem (Acts 12:12). When Paul and Barnabas, who had been in Antioch, came to Jerusalem, they brought Mark back to Antioch with them (12:25), and he accompanied them on their first missionary journey (13:5), but left them prematurely and returned to Jerusalem (13:13).

When Paul and Barnabas were about to set out on a second missionary journey, Barnabas proposed to take Mark, but Paul thought him unreliable, so that eventually Barnabas made one journey taking Mark, and Paul another journey taking Silas (15:36-40). Mark is not mentioned again in Acts. However, it appears that he became more reliable, for Paul mentions him as a trusted assistant in Colossians 4:10 and again in 2 Timothy 4:11.

The Apostle Peter had a co-worker whom he refers to as "my son Mark" (1 Peter 5:13). Papias, an early second century writer, in describing the origins of the Gospels, tells us that Mark was the "interpreter" of Peter, and that he wrote down ("but not in order") the stories that he had heard Peter tell in his preaching about the life and teachings of Jesus. Debate continues as to the veracity of some of Papias' records, but this one is considered genuine by many scholars.

The Gospel According to Saint Mark, in describing the arrest of Jesus (14:43-52), speaks of a young man who followed the arresting party, wearing only a linen cloth wrapped around his body, whom the arresting party tried to seize, but who left the cloth in their hands and fled naked. Many think that this young man was the writer himself, since the detail is hardly worth mentioning if he were not.

Tradition holds that after Peter's death, Mark left Rome and went to preach in Alexandria, Egypt, where he was eventually martyred.

It is natural to identify the John Mark of Acts with the Gospel-writer and interpreter of Peter, and this identification is standard in liturgical references to Mark. However, "Mark" is the commonest of Latin first names, and they may well have been separate people.

Mark's symbol in Christian art is a often a lion, usually winged. In Revelation 4 and throughout much of his vision, John sees about the throne of God four winged creatures — a lion, an ox, a man, and an eagle. (Compare with the beings in Ezekiel 1 and 10.) Custom supposes that these represent the four Gospels or the four Evangelists (Gospel-writers).

One way to match the creatures with the Evangelists is to say that the man stands for Matthew, whose narrative begins with the human genealogy of Jesus and who often quotes Christ speaking of Himself as "the Son of Man"; the lion stands for Mark, whose narrative begins with John the Baptist crying out in the desert (a lion roars in the desert); the ox, a sacrificial animal, stands for Luke, whose narrative begins in the Temple; the eagle, then, stands for John, whose narrative begins in Heaven with the eternal Word and who writes in a lofty style.

Lection

Psalm 146
Isaiah 52:7-10
2 Timothy 4:5-18
Mark 16:14-20

Collect

O almighty God, You have enriched Your Church with the proclamation of the Gospel through the evangelist Mark. Grant that we may firmly believe these glad tidings and daily walk according to Your Word; through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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24 April 2017
  + Johann Walter, Kantor +
24 April AD 1570

Organist Johann Walter (also Johannes Walther) was born in 1496 and began serving at the age of 21 as a composer and bass singer in the court chapel of Frederick the Wise. In 1524, he published a collection of hymns arranged according to the church year. It was well received and served as the model for numerous subsequent hymnals.

In addition to serving for 30 years as kantor (church musician and choir director) in the cities of Torgau and Dresden, he also assisted Martin Luther in the preparation of the Deutsche Messe of 1526, a setting of the Liturgy in the German language using hymn tunes.

Walter is remembered as the first Lutheran kantor and composer of church music. Among his most cherished works is Der Bräut'gam wird bald rufen (The Bridegroom Soon Will Call Us). Information on Walter, including some texts and music samples, may also be found through Hymnuts, Here of a Sunday Morning, and the Cyber Hymnal.

NB: Do not confuse this Johann Walter, whose output was largely hymns and other church music with the later Johann Jakob Walther (1650 - 1717), a Baroque composer best known for his violin works, or with Johann Gottfried Walther (1684 - 1748), also from the Baroque Period, who was a church organist and composer.

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21 April 2017
  + Anselm of Canterbury +
21 April AD 1109

Anselm of Canterbury Known as the father of medieval Scholasticism, Anselm was born in Italy in 1033. Most closely associated with England, he first served as prior and abbot of the Benedictine Abbey in Bec, Normandy, later becoming Archbishop of Canterbury for many years.

A brilliant scholar and writer who loved the works and followed in the way of Augustine, Anselm used his political skills with the British kings on behalf of the established Christian Church, affirming that it is the leadership of the Church and not the state which has the responsibility of establishing structure and maintaining order among the clergy.

Anselm's book Cur Deus homo (Why God Became Man) expresses his thoughts on Christ's atonement and taught that the reason for the incarnation was that Jesus, the Son of God, would suffer and die in place of sinners. His Monologium shows the beginnings of his ontological argument for the existence of God. He further developed this philosophical argument in the Proslogion (also spelled Proslogium).

He was canonized in 1494 by Pope Alexander VI.

More at the Christian Cyclopedia, Wikipedia, and James Kiefer's Hagiographies.

Lection

Psalm 139:1-9 or 37:3-6,32-33
Romans 5:1-11
Matthew 11:25-30

Collect

Almighty God, who raised up Your servant Anselm to teach the Church of his day to understand its faith in Your eternal Being, perfect justice, and saving mercy, provide Your Church in every age with devout and learned scholars and teachers, that we may be able to give a reason for the hope that is in us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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20 April 2017
  + Johannes Bugenhagen +
20 April AD 1558

Bugenhagen Johannes Bugenhagen (1485-1558), was from Pomerania in northern Germany. Because of his ancestral region, he took the Latin name Pomeranus and Martin Luther often called him "Doctor Pommer."

He was appointed pastor of Wittenberg in 1523 through the efforts of Luther and thus served as the reformer's pastor and confessor. One of the greatest scholars of the Reformation era, he helped translate the New Testament into Low German and wrote a commentary on the Psalms. He also worked to organize the Lutheran Church in northern Germany and Denmark, journeying to Copenhagen where he crowned both King and Queen and consecrated seven men to the offices of superintendent and bishop.

For those who think that their pastors preach too long, you share that complaint with Luther, who described Pomeranus' preaching as "whatever comes to mind, much like a maidservant chatting with another at the market." One story says that Luther recommended Bugenhagen cut his sermons in half and preach no more than an hour, lest all minds wander.

More information is available through the Christian Cyclopedia and Wikipedia.

Lection

Psalm 46
Isaiah 55:6-11
Romans 10:5-17
John 15:1-11

Collect

O Lord God, heavenly Father, who called Johannes Bugenhagen as pastor and confessor of the Faith, grant us faithful pastors in our time; pour our Your Holy Spirit on Your faithful people, keep them steadfast in Your grace and truth, protect and comfort them in all temptation, defend them against all enemies of Your Word, and bestow on Christ's Church Militant Your saving peace; through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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16 April 2017
  The Resurrection of Our Lord
Easter Sunday, New Testament

Resurrection Easter Sermon from John Chrysostom

Are there any who are devout lovers of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!
Are there any who are grateful servants?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!
Are there any weary with fasting?
Let them now receive their wages!
If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their due reward;
If any have come after the third hour,
let him with gratitude join in the Feast!
And he that arrived after the sixth hour,
let him not doubt; for he too shall sustain no loss.
And if any delayed until the ninth hour,
let him not hesitate; but let him come too.
And he who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let him not be afraid by reason of his delay.

For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
He gives rest to him that comes at the eleventh hour, as well as to him that toiled from the first.
To this one He gives, and upon another He bestows.
He accepts the works as He greets the endeavor.
The deed He honors and the intention He commends.

Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!
First and last alike receive your reward; rich and poor, rejoice together!
Sober and slothful, celebrate the day!

You that have kept the fast, and you that have not, rejoice today for the Table is richly laden!
Feast royally on it, the calf is a fatted one.
Let no one go away hungry.
Partake, all, of the cup of faith.
Enjoy all the riches of His goodness!
Let no one grieve at his poverty,
for the universal kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one mourn that he has fallen again and again;
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.
Let no one fear death, for the Death of our Savior has set us free.
He has destroyed it by enduring it.

He destroyed Hell when He descended into it.
He put it into an uproar even as it tasted of His flesh.
Isaiah foretold this when he said, “You, O Hell, have been troubled by encountering Him below.”
Hell was in an uproar because it was done away with.
It was in an uproar because it is mocked.
It was in an uproar, for it is destroyed.
It is in an uproar, for it is annihilated.
It is in an uproar, for it is now made captive.
Hell took a body, and discovered God.
It took earth, and encountered Heaven.
It took what it saw, and was overcome by what it did not see.
O death, where is thy sting?
O Hell, where is thy victory?

Christ is Risen, and you, O Death, are annihilated!
Christ is Risen, and the evil ones are cast down!
Christ is Risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is Risen, and life is liberated!
Christ is Risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead;
for Christ having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.
To Him be Glory and Power forever and ever. Amen!

Lection (Series A)

Easter Sunrise

Psalm 118:15-29
Exodus 14:10-15:1
1 Corinthians 15:1-11
John 20:1-18

Easter Day

Psalm 16
Acts 10:34-43 or Jeremiah 31:1-6
1 Corinthians 15:19-26
Matthew 28:1-10

Easter Evening

Psalm 100
Exodus 15:1-18 or Daniel 12:1c-3
Acts 10:34-43 or 1 Corinthians 5:6b-8
Luke 24:13-35 (36-49)

Lection (One Year)

Easter Sunrise

Psalm 16
Isaiah 25:6-9 or Exodus 14:10-15:1
1 Corinthians 15:1-11 or 1 Corinthians 15:12-25
John 20:1-18

Easter Day

Psalm 118:15-29
Job 19:23-27
1 Corinthians 5:6-8 or 1 Corinthians 15:51-57
Mark 16:1-8

Easter Evening

Psalm 100
Exodus 15:1-18
Acts 10:34-43
Luke 24:13-35

Collect

Easter Sunrise

Almighty and most merciful God, pour out on us Your abundant blessing that all who in true faith share this time in joyful celebration of the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead may be filled with Your heavenly benediction. Once we were in darkness, but now we are in the Light, even Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Easter Day

Almighty God the Father, through Your only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ, You have overcome death and opened the gate of everlasting life to us. Grant that we, who celebrate with joy the day of our Lord’s resurrection, may be raised from the death of sin by Your life-giving Spirit; through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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15 April 2017
  God Rested
Holy Saturday

"On the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. (Genesis 2:2 ESV)"

Christ in the Tomb
Ask the Pastor posted in 2006 on Christ's Sabbath in the tomb as He moved from His state of humiliation into His eternal exaltation at the right hand of the Father. We anticipate with quiet joy the first celebration of His resurrection during tonight's Vigil and, should God allow us the morrow, the fullness of the Feast of the Resurrection in Scripture, sermon, psalms, prayers, and hymns of gladness.

Lection

Psalm 16
Daniel 6:1-24
1 Peter 4:1-8 (Three Year Lectionary Cycle) or 1 Peter 3:17-22 (One Year Lectionary Cycle)

The Holy Gospel

"When it was evening, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who also was a disciple of Jesus. He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then Pilate ordered it to be given to him. And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen shroud and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had cut in the rock. And he rolled a great stone to the entrance of the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb.

"Next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate and said, 'Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, "After three days I will rise." Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, "He has risen from the dead," and the last fraud will be worse than the first.' Pilate said to them, 'You have a guard of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.' So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard. (Matthew 27:57-66 ESV)"

Collect

Abide with us, Lord, for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. Abide with us and with Your whole Church. Abide with us in the end of the day, in the end of our life, in the end of the world. Abide with us with Your strength and blessing. Abide with us when the night of affliction and temptation comes upon us, the night of fear and despair when death shall come. Abide with us and with all the faithful through time and eternity.

Painting of The Body of the Dead Christ in the Tomb by Hans Holbein the Younger at the Web Gallery of Art.

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14 April 2017
  Good Friday
Friday in Holy Week, New Testament

Good Friday The Father chose to sacrifice His Son rather than banish sinful mankind to an eternity of suffering. Also, Christ died because the Scriptures which point to the coming Savior "require" his suffering and death.

The most noted of these prophecies is probably Isaiah 52:13-53:12. Through the prophet, the Lord predicts what would happen to His faithful Servant: "He was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities. (53:5)" He was "like a lamb that is led to the slaughter (53:7)" and "was cut off out of the land of the living. (53:8)" Finally, "They made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. (53:9)"

God cannot go back on His Word. From Creation's dawn, He warned that sin always results in death. Someone had to die, either one innocent Man or millions and billions of guilty people. Through Paul, God said, "The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23a)"

However, God applied the life-giving "wages" earned by His sinless Son as payment in full on our accounts and credited us with Jesus' perfection. Likewise, the deadly wages that were our due were paid in full to Jesus in His suffering and death. Because of this, "the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (23b)" (Adapted from Jesus' Death at Ask the Pastor; used by permission.)

Lection — Three Year Cycle

Psalm 22 or Psalm 31
Isaiah 52:13-53:12
Hebrews 4:14-16; 5:7-9
John 18:1-19:42 or John 19:17-30

Lection — One Year Cycle

Psalm 22 or Psalm 31
Isaiah 52:13-53:12
2 Corinthians 5:14-21
John 18:1-19:42

Collects

Almighty God, Your Son Jesus Christ was lifted high upon the cross so that He might draw the whole world to Himself. Grant that we who glory in His death for our salvation may also glory in His call to take up our cross and follow Him; through Your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

Almighty God, graciously behold this Your family for whom our Lord Jesus Christ was willing to be betrayed, to be given into the hands of sinners, and to suffer death on the cross; through the same Jesus Christ, who now lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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13 April 2017
  Holy Thursday
or Maundy Thursday, New Testament

Last Supper The Church uses this fifth day of Holy Week to remember the institution of the Lord's Supper. From the account of the Upper Room in John 13:1-15, some have called it the Day of Foot Washing.

"Maundy" may come from the Latin Bible's rendering of John 13:34, where Jesus gave the disciples a new mandatum (commandment) in the upper room: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

Another idea is that it grew out from an ancient custom of carrying gifts to the poor in hand baskets (known as "maunds" or "maund baskets") on that day.

Of much more importance than the name of the day is the gift Jesus gave. For on this night on which He was betrayed, our Savior gave first to His disciples His very body and blood for them to eat and to drink. Under bread and wine, He continues to give this gift, that we also might eat His flesh, drink His blood, and receive forgiveness of sins, life, and salvation.

Lection — Three Year Cycle

Option I

Psalm 116:12-19
Exodus 24:3-11
Hebrews 9:11-22
Matthew 26:17-30

Option II

Psalm 116:12-19
Exodus 12:1-14
1 Corinthians 11:23-32
John 13:1-17, 31b-35

Lection — One Year Cycle

Psalm 116:12-19
Exodus 12:1-14 or Exodus 24:3-11
1 Corinthians 11:23-32
John 13:1-15 (34-35)

Collect

O Lord, in this wondrous Sacrament You have left us a remembrance of Your passion. Grant that we may so receive the sacred mystery of Your body and blood that the fruits of Your redemption may continually be manifest in us; for You live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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09 April 2017
  Palm Sunday
also Sunday of the Passion
9 April AD 2017

Palm Sunday The Sunday before His crucifixion, our Lord Christ rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. Accompanied by His disciples, He heard the people crying, "Hosanna!" This ancient petition translates, "Save now!" It stems from the same root as does the name "Jesus."

Palm Sunday thereby reminds us of the Annunciation, when Gabriel told Mary what to name the Child. Even more so, it recalls the angel's visit to Joseph, who heard the angel tell him of Mary's Son, "You shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21)" and also The Circumcision and Name of Jesus.

Jesus heard this prayer and answered according to His Father's will. Their salvation — and our salvation — was nigh, for in a few short days, He would gift His Church with a new meal of His own body and blood and would then be betrayed and would suffer and die to forgive us all our sins. All four evangelists record the events of this day. However, only Saint John included mention of palm branches being cut as part of the apparent victory parade, yet this one mention gave this day its classic title.

Good Friday More recently, many liturgical churches have begun using "Passion Sunday" or "Sunday of the Passion" instead. This name emphasizes less the triumphal entry at the week's beginning but points more to the blood-stained exit on Friday as Jesus went to Golgotha.

Actually, as some of the Church's hymnody points out, both titles have their place and both exist well in relationship to each other. For expanded commentary on palms, Passion, and hymns, see Hosannas and Palm Branches at Ask the Pastor.

The traditional color for this day is purple, as it has been throughout Lent. However, many church bodies have gone to using scarlet as the preferred color for Holy Week, either until Holy Thursday or Good Friday. White is the other appropriate color for Maundy Thursday while Good Friday's paraments and vestments should be black — or they should not be used at all.

Lection — Three Year Cycle: Series A

John 12:12-19 (Palm Sunday Procession)

Psalm 118:19-29 or 31:9-16
Isaiah 50:4-9a
Philippians 2:5-11
Matthew (26:1-27:10) 27:11-66 or John 12:20-43

Lection — One Year Cycle

Matthew 21:1-9 or John 12:12-19 (Palm Sunday Procession)

Psalm 118:19-29 or 31:9-16
Zechariah 9:9-12
Philippians 2:5-11
Matthew 26:1-27:66 or Matthew 27:11-54

Collects

Most merciful God, as the people of Jerusalem, with palms in their hands, gathered to greet Your dearly beloved Son when He came into His Holy City, grant that we may ever hail Him as our King and, when He comes again, may go forth to meet Him with trusting and steadfast hearts and follow Him in the way that leads to eternal life; through the same Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. (Collect for the Palm Sunday Procession)

Almighty and everlasting God, You sent Your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, to take upon Himself our flesh and to suffer death upon the cross. Mercifully grant that we may follow the example of His great humility and patience and be made partakers of His resurrection; through the same Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. (Collect of the Day for the Sunday of the Passion)

Paintings by Pietro Lorenzetti from the Web Gallery of Art.

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06 April 2017
  + Albrecht Dürer and Lucas Cranach +
6 April AD 1528

Duerer Albrecht Dürer (1471-1528), a native of Nuernberg, Germany, was one of the most learned of Renaissance artists and ranked among the great minds of Humanism. His paintings and woodcuts include examples of the splendor of creation and skilled portrayals of biblical narratives.

While great beauty and form characterize his paintings, most know him best for his woodcuts and etchings, often produced in extended series format. The Concordia Historical Institute displayed two of these series in one show: His "Life of Mary" and "Small Passion" were shown in an exhibit entitled A Sword Will Pierce Your Own Soul Too. CHI made digital copies of the individual works and they may be viewed by following the link.

Dürer never renounced Roman Catholicism, although his later writings and paintings show great sympathy toward the Reformation and ardent admiration for Martin Luther.

16 October AD 1553

Cranach Lucas Cranach (1472-1553), a close friend of Martin Luther, was a celebrated painter of portraits and altar pieces and a producer of woodcuts of religious subjects.

Among his portraits are some of the most noted depictions of Martin and Katy Luther and Luther's co-worker Philipp Melanchthon. He also did a number of works from Greco-Roman mythology, Biblical and hagiographic scenes, and portrayed a number of wealthy people from his time.

Among his most noted works is the altarpiece from Weimar, often thought to have been completed by his son, Lucas Cranach the Younger. The painting depicts Old and New Testament themes centering on Law and Gospel and on the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. Cranach's intentional anachronism of including himself, Martin Luther, and John the Baptizer at the foot of the cross shows how the Church always points to Christ and benefits from His suffering and death.

Some later scholars have tried to depict Cranach as a misogynist. However, examination of his writings and the content of his paintings allows little credence for this theory.

Both Cranach and Dürer are remembered and honored for the grandeur of their works of art that depict the glory and majesty and the grace and mercy of the triune God. Along with these two Germans, I've also included their approximate contemporary from Italy, Michelangelo Buonarroti. He also used his talents to illustrate Scripture's story and God's glory.

18 February AD 1564

Michelangelo During roughly the same time that Cranach and Dürer worked in Germany, Florentine artist Michelangelo Buonarroti (1475-1564) was busy in Italy. By age 21, he'd already carved his famous Pietà, a scene of the Virgin holding her dead Son before His burial. Most will probably know him from his statue of David and his work in the Sistine Chapel.

The picture here is from his "Last Judgment" fresco; the person portrayed is Saint Bartholomew, holding the knife said to have flayed him in one hand and his peeled skin in the other. I include it because the face of the restored saint is a self-portrait by Michelangelo. Many have speculated as to why he chose this particular person to bear his image. Some think he used it to indict those who criticized him, as if to say, "You can cut away at me now, but I will be vindicated." Others believe that he wrestled throughout his life with temptation and sinful behavior but recognized that in the Resurrection he would be remade.

Collect

O God, who by your Holy Spirit give to some the word of wisdom, to others the word of knowledge, and to others the word of faith, we praise You for the gifts of proclaiming Your grace and glory through visual representation that you gave to your servants Albrecht and Lucas [and Michelangelo], and we pray that Your Church may never be destitute of such gifts; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

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01 April 2017
  ± Saint Fere Verus ±
1 April AD 1582?

Fere Verus By most accounts, almost nothing stood out about young Fere. Indeed, the birth of this seventh son of one Septimus Filius is lost completely to history. Only apocryphal accounts remain, all of partial completion and dubious veracity. They disagree about almost every aspect of his life, work, and death — not only the years but even the century in which he lived remain open to speculation.

Consensus seems certain that he was a man (although one Cretan account claims that he was either a woman or that he underwent some divine transformation from girl to man in his thirteenth year, but you know what Paul said about the Cretans). Also, most stories claim that he was a pious man to whom several nearly miraculous occurrences can be attached.

Evidently, concerns over consanguinity never plagued his ancestors. Therefore, tradition maintains that Fere's family tree held precious few branches yet bore an inordinate crop of nuts. While it remains to be proven, several early records state that his uncle Filbertus Demens claimed to be legitimate heir of Caligula many years after the latter's death.

Baptismal records would certainly be helpful in pinning down the correct dates for his life, but part-time Verus scholar Franz Bibfeldt claims that the missing infant baptismal record is due to the fact that Fere's family was functionally pagan and that the lad converted and was baptized only after a frightening brush with death.

Fere ran with a rough crowd of peasant boys who one day thought they'd amuse themselves by overturning the royal privy of Prince Albertus of Weisenheim. The scream issuing from said privy alerted the lads that they'd overturned, if not a kingdom, at least a prince and they quickly absconded. However, Fere sought to continue the joke and hired a half-wit boy from a neighboring village to carry a message to the castle, asking if Prince Albertus were still in the can.

Tipped Outhouse Thus alerted, the Weisenheimer retainers rushed to rescue Albertus, who promptly sent the messenger to his torturers. He quickly confessed to receiving two copper coins from young Verus in exchange for the delivered message. When the Prince's soldiers arrived at his home, Fere rushed out and was almost captured, but his poorly made cape tore as the captain grabbed it and he rushed into the neighboring woods as a thick fog settled over the area. Screened by the mist, he escaped the Weisenheimer borders and went to live with an uncle in Warsaw. He believed that the fog came by divine intervention, forsook his lawless past, and sought baptism.

Fere later got word of Albertus' death and returned to his ancestral home. There, he discovered that Uncle Filbertus, while certainly not the sanest of men, had died as one of the wealthiest and had left his entire estate to his brother Septum. Verus' aforementioned father greeted his prodigal son with this news but while continuing his story suddenly slumped in his chair and died before he struck the floor.

Normally, a seventh son wouldn't have expected any great inheritance, but the six older brothers had all died by this time. The three oldest evidently suffered death at the hands of tainted meat while the next three lost their lives in Albertus' dungeons. Scholars had for many years thought that the Weisenheimer prince had struck them down since he couldn't reach the actual villain who'd sullied his dignity but recent evidence points to a failed confidence game against his royal personage as the actual cause of their demise.

Unfortunately, Septum had begun bestowing lavish gifts on his wife — many of them likely peace offerings to make up for the lavish gifts he'd been bestowing upon a series of mistresses. Thus, Fere found himself holding on to only a fraction of the large estate he'd so recently discovered. This was, however, enough to support him comfortably in the life of traveling scholar and he became a discipulus perpetuus who never had to write home for more funds.

During the course of his travels, he made many boon companions, especially among scientists engaged in the study of fermentology. His own specialty was in the field of unsolicited advice, of which he was an avid dispenser. Because of the already-mentioned shoddy record keeping during his days, we're not sure just who received his recommendations and which accounts are as queer as a three florin coin.

Nevertheless, Fere was nearly credited with several accomplishments in science, religion, and the arts. Some sources say that he almost discovered a cure for smallpox but that his swine pox exposure theory didn't quite hit the mark. He likewise nearly developed a process for vulcanization after spilling sulfur atop a burning stove. Sadly, this occurred before latex was discovered in the New World and brought to Europe, so all he did was ruin that day's dinner.

Many great minds are said to have sought him out, especially as they dealt with difficult theoretical problems. They left his presence cheered by knowing that they could be almost certain that they were on the right track when Fere's opinion differed radically from their own.

Pope Leo X For those who chose to listen to his advice, the situation was often much more perilous. Some historians credit him with advising Pope Leo X to ignore the "monks' squabble" in Germany. Others say that he served as matchmaker to English King Henry VIII. Those who argue for much earlier birth and death dates say that he wrote the final position paper for the Arian party at the Council of Nicea or that his influence nearly single-handedly ended bathing in much of Gaul to this day.

Several sources say that Fere Verus's ability to misunderstand and misapply essential information made him a darling of the Avignon popes during the Great Schism of the Western Church. It was one of these, many believe, who canonized him following his death (if, indeed, he'd even been born by this time). Thus, only scattered portions of Western Christendom ever recognized him as a saint.

Fere Verus has the patron saint concession for false starts, fudged research, and sufferers of festering sores. Bibfeldt protégé Katz N. Jammer believes that Girolamo Fracastoro's wrote his 1530 poem Syphilis, sive Morbus Gallicus in honor of Fere Verus' struggle with the affliction.

Up to modern days, many claim that his intercession on their behalf has greatly influenced the results of their lives. For instance, some say that noted aviator Douglas Corrigan had a statue of Fere Verus in his airplane during his famous 1938 flight. Several people claim that they saw his image in the clouds of smoke that billowed up during Apollo 13's launch. These and other accounts keep his legend alive.

Fere Verus Day may be celebrated with any of the works of P. D. Q. Bach. He is best eulogized by these immortal lines from the Robert Burns poem To a Mouse: "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley."

Please consult Wikipedia or snopes.com for more information.

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